The title itself was a song. Nahihilig ata ako sa mga song title. :)
5 more days and I'll start the ayoko-pang-mag-aral thing, my college life. Yes. I have my plans as anyone do. Thinking if my first year will be tough or so I say. I will just reminisce something from somewhere. Okay. The drama will start, close your eyes now.
How are you going to live when your life was almost about him? How are you going to endure every single moment knowing he won't be there?
The time when we used to go to school together. Hahaha. Nakakatawa yung unang beses na yun and I think, huli na din. Ambilis mong maglakad kasi wala ka pang assignment sa Physics.
How I criticize other people and he would just agree with me. Hahaha. Yah. We're too bad. Siya lalo. :)
The way he saves me from the hell math and physics subject of ours.
How he go wild when I smile. Yes. Wild.
Sit next to each other after eating our lunch with our friends. Dun kna magkkwento ng mga chismis sakin.
That I know his friendster password and even his Yahoo account.
The way we sing together.
The way we laugh even at our corniest jokes.
How impatient I am when we had our Physics assignment and he'd volunteer to do it for me.
The way he treats me like a child.
How bad I miss us when it's raining.
How he doesn't want to see me with other boys because he's too afraid he might lose me. Boy. Sa'yo lang ako. Prames :D
The way he holds my hand and doesn't want to let go.
When people look strange at me because I'm pinching his nose.
How I can tell him everything and anything. Even my red alert. :)
How he looks like a kid when he says sorry.
How cute he is when he is mad.
How we fight our views into something and realizing that it's non sense and all that we know is, we love each other.
How he compare his high grades with mine. Hahaha. I know. Ikaw na. :)
That I still trust him no matter how negligent he gets.
When things get a little between the two of us, and the best way to escape is to eat and eat and we're fine.
When I'm too scared of the pain, but he always keeps me up and willing to stand up for me.
That no matter how many times we hurt each other I know that my sanctuary is still in his arms, in my home.
How he used to be my hero, my angeland my sweetest sin.
The title of this post was the song Kim once GM-ed to his friends even to me. Simple Plan once did it as a hit. :)
Okay. I think this post was before and after his arrival. Err. Reminiscing. I hate doing that thing.
"Do you ever miss him?" "Every day, every minute."
I feel a weird combination of freedom and despair. Freedom. Yes, I have a complete one. I can do everything without asking for his permission. But the loyalty, the faithfulness and the love I promise to last with him forever, always change my mind. He always says to me, " Ney, kung ayaw mo na sakin, sige lang ha. Naiintindihan ko naman e. mahirap tong sitwasyon natin." But the mere fact that I can, never change my mind. I am responsible for who and what will I become, and I will do it as though a I have my free will. Despair. It's something like this:
" I won't ever leave you even if you're always leaving me." " But I never want to leave you."
Yung 1 1/2 days nya dito, ambilis. Parang isang oras lang. Gusto kong magreklamo, umiyak, magsumbong, pero wala kong magagawa. Hay. Isang malalim na paghinga. Magisa nanaman. Wala nanaman sya.
"don't be critical about love. lahat yan mei tamang oras at tamang panahon. ngayon, magtiis muna tayo. pagkatpos neto, habangbuhay na."
he wrote that in his letter. nung nabasa ko, nabuhayan ako ng loob. nakakaiyak. nakakamiss. ang masakit, wala kang magawa. pero meron na pala. ansarap isipin na kaya pala sya nagtagal dun, kasi binigyan mo sya ng lakas ng loob. tiwala lang ney. makikita mo :)
Ay. Yesterday was our 3rd monthsary. Wee. We're together and I'm happy. I've touched those cheeks again and I lean on the same shoulder after a long time. Haha. Talo ka. You did it again. You first did it and I never insists you to do so. Anyways, namiss ko yun. Next labster's day again huh? Promise? :D
I want to go home with you na. I'm waiting until that perfect time comes. I love you so much ney. I'm waiting to see those matabang cheeks of yours. Hahaha. :)
E kasi, kanina nagpunta kami ng Marcelo ni Rossel para makakuha ko ng certification na kasama ko sa upper 25% ng graduates ng batch namin. Kasama naman ako e.Upper 5% pa nga. Hahaha. FYI, rank 65 ako over 1978 graduates. Pwede na magyabang. Hahaha :) Pero hindi tungkol dun yung blog ko. Mageemo lang ako ng unti ha :)
Sa pagpasok pa lang sa munting gate ng aking paaralan, iba na yung naisip ko.
Dati, hindi naman ganun yung pasukan, binabaha pa nga yun e. Antaas na ngayon ha. Dati, hindi ganun ka-approachable yung mga guards. Ngayon, tinulungan pa nila ko makita si Lamberto. Dati, kahit maraming tao dun, feeling ko safe ako. Ngayon, mukha silang mga *****. Dati, lahat sila nakauniform. Ngayon, puro sila pormahan. Malamang, maguniform daw ba para lang magenroll. Dati, lahat ng nakakasalubong ko kakilala ko. Ngayon, kahit isang pagmumukha, hindi ko makilala.
Nagbago na kaagad? Ambilis naman ata.
Habang nasa record section ako kanina, ang gara ng feeling. Parang dati lang, nanghihingi ako ng Form137 kasi kelangan para sa application sa UPCAT, ngayon, iba na yung hinihingi ko. Ambilis noh? Tapos, nakita ko pa si Mam Myrna Dela Cruz yung teacher ko sa General Science nung First year, nakakatouch kasi natatandaan pa niya kami . After mangulit ng mga teacher sa AP, pumunta na kami sa guard para itanong tong bagay na to:
Sel&Epi: Anu po bang kelangan para makapasok kami dito sa GABAG? Guards(madae kasi sila ) : Letter galing sa teacher in charge. Sel&Epi: Kei Mam Vivo po? Guards: Oo. Sa kanya. Sel&Epi: Ay. Oh sige po. Salamat. Sa susunod na pagkikita na lang ulit.
Dati lang, nangunguna yung section namin sa pagcheer sa apat kong kaklase nun. Ngayon, maglilipat na ng title si James. Kasabay na kaya nun yung pagsasabi na, Porwan, eto na yung huli nyung pagkikita? Wag naman sana. Ayoko.
Habang lumalabas kami ng gate, di ko mapigilang lumingon pabalik. Eto yung lugar na minsan nang naging saksi sa mga kahinaan ko sa buhay. Kasama ko to sa lahat ng achievements. Sa lahat ng happenings. Sa bawat tawa at iyak ng barkada. Yung Building A na tatlong taon kong tinirhan, yung init dun. Yung siksikang classroom. Lahat namimiss ko. Lalo yung mga taong kasama ko sa paghihirap. Sa lahat ng problem sa Physics. Sa lahat ng functions na tinuturo ni Mam Ana. Err. Ang cheesy ko.
Ayun. Nakalabas na ko Marcelo H. del Pilar National High School. Panahon para maggrow mag-isa. Panahon para lumibot pa sa ibang parte ng buhay. :)
Eto na yun, isa na ko sa alumni ng Marcelo. Nangako na nga ako nung graduation e. Habang tinititigan ko, nalulungkot ako lalo. Nakakaiyak pala. Ang hirap nila ilet go. Ang hirap ng malayo sila sa'yo. SILA LANG KASI e! (kasi e?)
So, it was a day with my future. We took a test with English and my water loo, Math. We started the test at around 10 am and I finished the first one (English) at 11am. And we took the worst at exactly 1 in the afternoon, and woah, I finished it at 1:30 pm at my clock. Amazing isn't it? If we past the test, Math 17 will be our subject. If we fail the test, there will be a separate subject between College Algebra and Trigonometry which is I think, better. :)
Okay. I was a bit excited about my college plans. Realizations? Subject and Verb agreement, let's meet again. Hahahaha. :)
Oh. It's May 10 and I want to extend my warmest greetings to every mother I've met and I've known. From my classmates supportive mothers, up to my ever dearest Nanay, let me say my gratitude to everyone. Nene, is her nickname. Leonila, was the given name to her. Yan ang nanay ko. Yan si Nanay Nene. My bestfriend, my first teacher, my first instructor, my personal nurse who never fails to take care of me whenever I'm sick, my counselor, my ever reliable friend, my secret keeper. The one who never fails me inspite of my high standard. She's my mother and I'm proud to be her stalker. We may not be the most bonded atoms, but I know, we will always be the most precious gems of all time. :)
The influence of a good mother is the world's mightiest force in shaping tomorrow's men and women.
Okay. I'll start this blog as happy as it can be. First good thing, i manage to go at Bulacan Polytechnic College. The (put something in here) college in our province. Second thing, I have two new shirts. Thank you Janelle and Joy for the company. Lab ko kayo. :) Third thing, I almost realize that, waaah, tomorrow is our second monthsary. Not that excited. :) Love. Love.
I used to wonder what life would be like if I haven’t felt those crazy-head-over-heels with you. I will probably be glad for you, as my friend, as a classmate and of course as my “insan”. Glad because, you’re there, fulfilling all those dreams of yours. And if I do, there will be no heartaches due to a long distance relationship, a lost love, or an I miss you thing. No heartaches and no frustrations, no pressures and no sacrifices.No heartbreaks and no complain. How about that? There’ll be no worries for a so called love. There’ll be no pressure from the people who love and respect you from top to the bottom of your talents. No frustration over a lost friendship. No regrets over an opportunity for the two of us.
But I realized, if those things don’t happened, I will be empty more than anything else. I may be not happy as much as I felt and thinking for those what ifs is the hardest thing to take over. Yes, I’m certainly proud and I’m shouting to this universe, that you, Kim E. Estrella, is my better half. We’re the best for each other. My head is so much big for the past conflicts that we had been resolved. And lastly, I feel so stronger for surviving every day feeling your love even if you’re not around.
I don’t need anyone else to complete me, because it’s you that I’ve been waiting to come. Welcome and enjoy your lifetime stay in my heart. I love you ney.
As I keep myself busy, time goes faster. Good. I’m waiting for him, knowing where he is. It’s so hard to be the one who stays, wondering if he’s okay. The tears that flow down were too thick for me to imagine his features again, and that was rude. I only had until nightfall for sure, with the limit that ended the dream-like story, like a fairytale. I stared at our picture, wishing that this two enchanting characters would be in each other’s arms more than anyone. Wishing that what they have now would last forever, or, if it couldn’t, the other one may stop existing. I know he wants to pursue his dreams, no matter what sacrifice it’ll cost me.
There will be no more reasons more than anything. I want to be where he is now, but I can’t follow. I should pursue my dreams also, my economist life.
Things and Life might be the same as sudden as I can say. Sudden changes happened. Sudden lost. Sudden disappointments. Sudden emotions. Sudden commitments. Everything happens suddenly without us, noticing it. Who we’ll blame? No one. Sudden things happen because we let it happened. Time will come we will not live the life we used to love – the house, the places, the habit and maybe, the people we used to have. Those people we laugh with, we cherish and we love. But the memories we have with them, will never be obliterate suddenly. Even if we insist to, we cannot.
What hurts the most is that, we cannot control the changes in our life, it happened unexpectedly, so abrupt, so sudden. So what can we do? Iprepare mo yung sarili mo sa lahat ng bagay na pwedeng mangyari, kahit hindi mo maimagine na pwede. Iwasan mong masanay sa isang bagay o siguro, sa isang tao, na siya lang ang tanging nakakapagpasaya sa’yo. Tandaan mong binigyan ka Niya ng abilidad para kayanin lahat.
And we’ll wake up one day and realize that the people whom we thought would be with us forever are gone and left us on the other side of the emotion. And those people who ask you, what are you feeling right now, may totally forget you the next day. People who say that they love and miss you may eventually get tired of saying it even if you say your part. Yung mga taong di mo aakalaing magbabago, nagbago na. And those people who promise to be always there for us, may leave.
Lesson: Life is sudden as always, just love and brace yourself. It can help.
The title itself was a song. Nahihilig ata ako sa mga song title. :)
5 more days and I'll start the ayoko-pang-mag-aral thing, my college life. Yes. I have my plans as anyone do. Thinking if my first year will be tough or so I say. I will just reminisce something from somewhere. Okay. The drama will start, close your eyes now.
How are you going to live when your life was almost about him? How are you going to endure every single moment knowing he won't be there?
The time when we used to go to school together. Hahaha. Nakakatawa yung unang beses na yun and I think, huli na din. Ambilis mong maglakad kasi wala ka pang assignment sa Physics.
How I criticize other people and he would just agree with me. Hahaha. Yah. We're too bad. Siya lalo. :)
The way he saves me from the hell math and physics subject of ours.
How he go wild when I smile. Yes. Wild.
Sit next to each other after eating our lunch with our friends. Dun kna magkkwento ng mga chismis sakin.
That I know his friendster password and even his Yahoo account.
The way we sing together.
The way we laugh even at our corniest jokes.
How impatient I am when we had our Physics assignment and he'd volunteer to do it for me.
The way he treats me like a child.
How bad I miss us when it's raining.
How he doesn't want to see me with other boys because he's too afraid he might lose me. Boy. Sa'yo lang ako. Prames :D
The way he holds my hand and doesn't want to let go.
When people look strange at me because I'm pinching his nose.
How I can tell him everything and anything. Even my red alert. :)
How he looks like a kid when he says sorry.
How cute he is when he is mad.
How we fight our views into something and realizing that it's non sense and all that we know is, we love each other.
How he compare his high grades with mine. Hahaha. I know. Ikaw na. :)
That I still trust him no matter how negligent he gets.
When things get a little between the two of us, and the best way to escape is to eat and eat and we're fine.
When I'm too scared of the pain, but he always keeps me up and willing to stand up for me.
That no matter how many times we hurt each other I know that my sanctuary is still in his arms, in my home.
How he used to be my hero, my angeland my sweetest sin.
The title of this post was the song Kim once GM-ed to his friends even to me. Simple Plan once did it as a hit. :)
Okay. I think this post was before and after his arrival. Err. Reminiscing. I hate doing that thing.
"Do you ever miss him?" "Every day, every minute."
I feel a weird combination of freedom and despair. Freedom. Yes, I have a complete one. I can do everything without asking for his permission. But the loyalty, the faithfulness and the love I promise to last with him forever, always change my mind. He always says to me, " Ney, kung ayaw mo na sakin, sige lang ha. Naiintindihan ko naman e. mahirap tong sitwasyon natin." But the mere fact that I can, never change my mind. I am responsible for who and what will I become, and I will do it as though a I have my free will. Despair. It's something like this:
" I won't ever leave you even if you're always leaving me." " But I never want to leave you."
Yung 1 1/2 days nya dito, ambilis. Parang isang oras lang. Gusto kong magreklamo, umiyak, magsumbong, pero wala kong magagawa. Hay. Isang malalim na paghinga. Magisa nanaman. Wala nanaman sya.
"don't be critical about love. lahat yan mei tamang oras at tamang panahon. ngayon, magtiis muna tayo. pagkatpos neto, habangbuhay na."
he wrote that in his letter. nung nabasa ko, nabuhayan ako ng loob. nakakaiyak. nakakamiss. ang masakit, wala kang magawa. pero meron na pala. ansarap isipin na kaya pala sya nagtagal dun, kasi binigyan mo sya ng lakas ng loob. tiwala lang ney. makikita mo :)
Ay. Yesterday was our 3rd monthsary. Wee. We're together and I'm happy. I've touched those cheeks again and I lean on the same shoulder after a long time. Haha. Talo ka. You did it again. You first did it and I never insists you to do so. Anyways, namiss ko yun. Next labster's day again huh? Promise? :D
I want to go home with you na. I'm waiting until that perfect time comes. I love you so much ney. I'm waiting to see those matabang cheeks of yours. Hahaha. :)
E kasi, kanina nagpunta kami ng Marcelo ni Rossel para makakuha ko ng certification na kasama ko sa upper 25% ng graduates ng batch namin. Kasama naman ako e.Upper 5% pa nga. Hahaha. FYI, rank 65 ako over 1978 graduates. Pwede na magyabang. Hahaha :) Pero hindi tungkol dun yung blog ko. Mageemo lang ako ng unti ha :)
Sa pagpasok pa lang sa munting gate ng aking paaralan, iba na yung naisip ko.
Dati, hindi naman ganun yung pasukan, binabaha pa nga yun e. Antaas na ngayon ha. Dati, hindi ganun ka-approachable yung mga guards. Ngayon, tinulungan pa nila ko makita si Lamberto. Dati, kahit maraming tao dun, feeling ko safe ako. Ngayon, mukha silang mga *****. Dati, lahat sila nakauniform. Ngayon, puro sila pormahan. Malamang, maguniform daw ba para lang magenroll. Dati, lahat ng nakakasalubong ko kakilala ko. Ngayon, kahit isang pagmumukha, hindi ko makilala.
Nagbago na kaagad? Ambilis naman ata.
Habang nasa record section ako kanina, ang gara ng feeling. Parang dati lang, nanghihingi ako ng Form137 kasi kelangan para sa application sa UPCAT, ngayon, iba na yung hinihingi ko. Ambilis noh? Tapos, nakita ko pa si Mam Myrna Dela Cruz yung teacher ko sa General Science nung First year, nakakatouch kasi natatandaan pa niya kami . After mangulit ng mga teacher sa AP, pumunta na kami sa guard para itanong tong bagay na to:
Sel&Epi: Anu po bang kelangan para makapasok kami dito sa GABAG? Guards(madae kasi sila ) : Letter galing sa teacher in charge. Sel&Epi: Kei Mam Vivo po? Guards: Oo. Sa kanya. Sel&Epi: Ay. Oh sige po. Salamat. Sa susunod na pagkikita na lang ulit.
Dati lang, nangunguna yung section namin sa pagcheer sa apat kong kaklase nun. Ngayon, maglilipat na ng title si James. Kasabay na kaya nun yung pagsasabi na, Porwan, eto na yung huli nyung pagkikita? Wag naman sana. Ayoko.
Habang lumalabas kami ng gate, di ko mapigilang lumingon pabalik. Eto yung lugar na minsan nang naging saksi sa mga kahinaan ko sa buhay. Kasama ko to sa lahat ng achievements. Sa lahat ng happenings. Sa bawat tawa at iyak ng barkada. Yung Building A na tatlong taon kong tinirhan, yung init dun. Yung siksikang classroom. Lahat namimiss ko. Lalo yung mga taong kasama ko sa paghihirap. Sa lahat ng problem sa Physics. Sa lahat ng functions na tinuturo ni Mam Ana. Err. Ang cheesy ko.
Ayun. Nakalabas na ko Marcelo H. del Pilar National High School. Panahon para maggrow mag-isa. Panahon para lumibot pa sa ibang parte ng buhay. :)
Eto na yun, isa na ko sa alumni ng Marcelo. Nangako na nga ako nung graduation e. Habang tinititigan ko, nalulungkot ako lalo. Nakakaiyak pala. Ang hirap nila ilet go. Ang hirap ng malayo sila sa'yo. SILA LANG KASI e! (kasi e?)
So, it was a day with my future. We took a test with English and my water loo, Math. We started the test at around 10 am and I finished the first one (English) at 11am. And we took the worst at exactly 1 in the afternoon, and woah, I finished it at 1:30 pm at my clock. Amazing isn't it? If we past the test, Math 17 will be our subject. If we fail the test, there will be a separate subject between College Algebra and Trigonometry which is I think, better. :)
Okay. I was a bit excited about my college plans. Realizations? Subject and Verb agreement, let's meet again. Hahahaha. :)
Oh. It's May 10 and I want to extend my warmest greetings to every mother I've met and I've known. From my classmates supportive mothers, up to my ever dearest Nanay, let me say my gratitude to everyone. Nene, is her nickname. Leonila, was the given name to her. Yan ang nanay ko. Yan si Nanay Nene. My bestfriend, my first teacher, my first instructor, my personal nurse who never fails to take care of me whenever I'm sick, my counselor, my ever reliable friend, my secret keeper. The one who never fails me inspite of my high standard. She's my mother and I'm proud to be her stalker. We may not be the most bonded atoms, but I know, we will always be the most precious gems of all time. :)
The influence of a good mother is the world's mightiest force in shaping tomorrow's men and women.
Okay. I'll start this blog as happy as it can be. First good thing, i manage to go at Bulacan Polytechnic College. The (put something in here) college in our province. Second thing, I have two new shirts. Thank you Janelle and Joy for the company. Lab ko kayo. :) Third thing, I almost realize that, waaah, tomorrow is our second monthsary. Not that excited. :) Love. Love.
I used to wonder what life would be like if I haven’t felt those crazy-head-over-heels with you. I will probably be glad for you, as my friend, as a classmate and of course as my “insan”. Glad because, you’re there, fulfilling all those dreams of yours. And if I do, there will be no heartaches due to a long distance relationship, a lost love, or an I miss you thing. No heartaches and no frustrations, no pressures and no sacrifices.No heartbreaks and no complain. How about that? There’ll be no worries for a so called love. There’ll be no pressure from the people who love and respect you from top to the bottom of your talents. No frustration over a lost friendship. No regrets over an opportunity for the two of us.
But I realized, if those things don’t happened, I will be empty more than anything else. I may be not happy as much as I felt and thinking for those what ifs is the hardest thing to take over. Yes, I’m certainly proud and I’m shouting to this universe, that you, Kim E. Estrella, is my better half. We’re the best for each other. My head is so much big for the past conflicts that we had been resolved. And lastly, I feel so stronger for surviving every day feeling your love even if you’re not around.
I don’t need anyone else to complete me, because it’s you that I’ve been waiting to come. Welcome and enjoy your lifetime stay in my heart. I love you ney.
As I keep myself busy, time goes faster. Good. I’m waiting for him, knowing where he is. It’s so hard to be the one who stays, wondering if he’s okay. The tears that flow down were too thick for me to imagine his features again, and that was rude. I only had until nightfall for sure, with the limit that ended the dream-like story, like a fairytale. I stared at our picture, wishing that this two enchanting characters would be in each other’s arms more than anyone. Wishing that what they have now would last forever, or, if it couldn’t, the other one may stop existing. I know he wants to pursue his dreams, no matter what sacrifice it’ll cost me.
There will be no more reasons more than anything. I want to be where he is now, but I can’t follow. I should pursue my dreams also, my economist life.
Things and Life might be the same as sudden as I can say. Sudden changes happened. Sudden lost. Sudden disappointments. Sudden emotions. Sudden commitments. Everything happens suddenly without us, noticing it. Who we’ll blame? No one. Sudden things happen because we let it happened. Time will come we will not live the life we used to love – the house, the places, the habit and maybe, the people we used to have. Those people we laugh with, we cherish and we love. But the memories we have with them, will never be obliterate suddenly. Even if we insist to, we cannot.
What hurts the most is that, we cannot control the changes in our life, it happened unexpectedly, so abrupt, so sudden. So what can we do? Iprepare mo yung sarili mo sa lahat ng bagay na pwedeng mangyari, kahit hindi mo maimagine na pwede. Iwasan mong masanay sa isang bagay o siguro, sa isang tao, na siya lang ang tanging nakakapagpasaya sa’yo. Tandaan mong binigyan ka Niya ng abilidad para kayanin lahat.
And we’ll wake up one day and realize that the people whom we thought would be with us forever are gone and left us on the other side of the emotion. And those people who ask you, what are you feeling right now, may totally forget you the next day. People who say that they love and miss you may eventually get tired of saying it even if you say your part. Yung mga taong di mo aakalaing magbabago, nagbago na. And those people who promise to be always there for us, may leave.
Lesson: Life is sudden as always, just love and brace yourself. It can help.
Hi. Thanks for dropping by. BTW, everything here is under my spell. So don’t try to copy then paste something. Leave everything in here. Okay?
FYI. All things published here was one of those pieces happened in my enjoy-every-moment of my life. I'm a blogger since you'd find your way here. :) I'm not good in grammar so don't expect a perfect and straight one here. If you're unhappy, then you're free to leave.
» Young Lady. «
APRIL JOYCE ARANETA CANDOR
15 years young. Freshie at University of the Philippines Diliman Extension Program in Pampanga and currently taking up BA Business Economics. Unique and of course, one of a kind. Violet. Pictures. Photo editing. Food. is surely love.
Music lighten down our spirit and force us to reminisce something or even someone. All it takes is just one song to remember one simple and meaningful event in one's life.
Habang tinititigan ko, nalulungkot ako lalo. Nakakaiyak pala. Ang hirap nila ilet go. Ang hirap ng malayo sila sa'yo. SILA LANG KASI e! (kasi e?)
The influence of a good mother is the world's mightiest force in shaping tomorrow's men and women.
