It was just another cheesy story. Hahaha. At 2 in the afternoon (May 13 2009), Mhyla , Yssa and I decided to see each other so that we can sent a letter to them, the Team Marcelo, the MAAP boys. :)
It costs us Php 75.00 to sent a letter to Norvie and Kim. Hahaha. Nagjoke pa kami ni Mhyla,
pagdating nila sisingilin natin sila.
Together with the letter was those three mailing stamps so they can write us back. Haha. Very supportive ang cheerers nila dito sa Bulacan. After that, Mhyla went home, I think while Yssa and I decided to go at BulSU, for a not-so-special-thing. Then we went to Malolos Bayan, we have a hard time finding a cheap converse high cut. Lahat mahal. Hahaha. We gave up, so we ate at Jollibee and we saw Rodolfo there, at the cashier, yung Newton na boyfriend ni Estephanie. Ay. nakita din namin si Rossel and she said to me,
Epi. Ampayat mo. Nagdodroga kba?
Hahaha. Mei epekto naman pala yung pagpapayat ko. Oyeah. :) Ocge. Dito na lang. Masyadong enjoy to. Hahahaha.
Woah. Last night, CJ (Chad's boyfriend; currently studying at MAAP) texted me this: Epi? ui. CJ Lim to. received at 8:46 p.m. But I read it at around 10 na. That time, I don't have any load to response from his urgent text message. So, i immediately used the service of the autoloadmax. I replied to him, Ui. CJ. Bakit? But he isn't responding, so I texted Chad to ask her, what the hell happened. She replied to me, mei sulat si Kim. Itetext nya sayo yung nakalagay. Antay ka nlang mmya o kaya bukas. So, I said my gratitude to both of them, for the care and time they've given us. So I slept with my mobile phone. As I woke up, it was around 4 in the morning, there was no text from CJ. So I sleep again. At around 8 in the morning, waah. I have a missed call from CJ. So I hurriedly checked my inbox, two messages from him. Yung sulat na ginawa ni Kim, tinext nya sakin yung laman.
My man is too sweet. Ginawa nya yun para lang batiin ako for our second monthsary. It was so true, that I'm taken by the best. Thank you for giving me this attention. I have a total trust in the idea that we will be together, when both of us is on our best shot. And just because I have no idea what he might be doing, doesn't mean he doesn't care. Who knows? Maybe, he's here with me na. :)
This is all that matters. He's there. I'm here. It doesn't matter how long, as long as he's heart and his love is with me.
Uh-oh. May1 . We've been apart for almost 2 weeks and I'm used to it. No text messages, no IMs, no sweet compliments and of course, I miss those simple fights with him.
Waa. It's been 4 days since the last post I have here. I miss typing out my emotions here. I'm still reading The Time Traveler's Wife and I'm enjoying every bit of it. As though, you feel the emotions in the story and you're on the scene itself. I dreamt of him, of Kim. I was with my classmates; I enjoy chatting with them, tell stories with them and making myself busy through them. But as I was watching my own dream, I realized Kim is not on the scene, on my ever-happy moment. Why? Is he leaving? Is he giving me up? Those realizations came up when I woke up. Dreams do come true, and I'm wishing this one will not. Sigh. Fighting.
I used to wonder what life would be like if I haven’t felt those crazy-head-over-heels with you. I will probably be glad for you, as my friend, as a classmate and of course as my “insan”. Glad because, you’re there, fulfilling all those dreams of yours. And if I do, there will be no heartaches due to a long distance relationship, a lost love, or an I miss you thing. No heartaches and no frustrations, no pressures and no sacrifices.No heartbreaks and no complain. How about that? There’ll be no worries for a so called love. There’ll be no pressure from the people who love and respect you from top to the bottom of your talents. No frustration over a lost friendship. No regrets over an opportunity for the two of us.
But I realized, if those things don’t happened, I will be empty more than anything else. I may be not happy as much as I felt and thinking for those what ifs is the hardest thing to take over. Yes, I’m certainly proud and I’m shouting to this universe, that you, Kim E. Estrella, is my better half. We’re the best for each other. My head is so much big for the past conflicts that we had been resolved. And lastly, I feel so stronger for surviving every day feeling your love even if you’re not around.
I don’t need anyone else to complete me, because it’s you that I’ve been waiting to come. Welcome and enjoy your lifetime stay in my heart. I love you ney.
As I keep myself busy, time goes faster. Good. I’m waiting for him, knowing where he is. It’s so hard to be the one who stays, wondering if he’s okay. The tears that flow down were too thick for me to imagine his features again, and that was rude. I only had until nightfall for sure, with the limit that ended the dream-like story, like a fairytale. I stared at our picture, wishing that this two enchanting characters would be in each other’s arms more than anyone. Wishing that what they have now would last forever, or, if it couldn’t, the other one may stop existing. I know he wants to pursue his dreams, no matter what sacrifice it’ll cost me.
There will be no more reasons more than anything. I want to be where he is now, but I can’t follow. I should pursue my dreams also, my economist life.
You want to know something? I miss you and I’m certainly scared. Yes. So scared. I’m afraid to make this we-don’t-know-the-start relationship to fall. I’m a little used to about being lonely but the fact that I wonder the whole day how was you, hurts and made me the paranoid one. Did he ever bother to think of me even just for a second?
I would never want anything but you, no matter how long I lived.
I know and I’ve realized, that when you love someone, you will give everything without even thinking twice. Every now and then, my heart is in to hope that someday, he’ll be around, that someday we will be a typical couple loving each other. I know I’ve made a foolish game with you, but I know, you don’t deserve something like that. Leaving him is one of those things that doesn’t enter my mind. Because I know, I’m waiting for him, my everything.
I was scared of losing him, of losing myself again. I couldn't make myself leave. I can wait for him, even if it takes a lot of courage to do. Even if it takes a lot of bravery to face everyday without him. I’m scared of losing him. I’m scared but I’m hoping that one day, I’ll be on the page of our happily ever after story. I miss you ney. Hoping to see you soon. I’m doing great in here. :(
You are safe here in my arms Never fear i’ll be beside you Feel my love, touching your soul Holding you closer as i whisper to you
I will never leave you hold on tight Promise to stay forever by your side I will never leave you promise i Stay forever i will never leave you behind
Stay with me and you will see I will be the one who been dreaming I won’t hurt the heart that you’ve given And never be wounded in my arms i promise
I will never leave you hold on tight Promise to stay forever by your side And i will always love you promise i Stay forever i will never leave you behind
And every moment, every minute, every hour of my life I intend to live my whole life with you I will be your home and live the same forever in my arms And will make it through
I will never leave you hold on tight Promise to stay forever by your side I will never leave you promise i Stay forever i will never leave you behind
I’ll be with you… whenever, whenever, whenever.. Promise i stay forever I will never leave you behind You are safe here in my arms ‘coz i will never leave you Leave you behind
April 13. Tsk. Ngayon ako naniniwala, joke ang araw na to. :(
Nagising ako ng around 2:30 am, alam ko gising na sya nun kasi 3am dapat nasa Tabang na sya to meet other dreamers. Haha. :) Pero I still doubt to text him, ewan ba. Pero nung exact 3am na, tinext ko na sya. I said, all those bilins I have for him. Take care of himself, eat the right foods, don't skip meals, and love me of course. So, we texted each other even if it's too early for me. Walang alarm clock na nanggising sakin that time, pagmamahal ang gumising sa natutulog na bata. He called me, and he kept on saying, mahal na mahal kita ney, magiingat ka ha, alagaan mo yung sarili mo. I don't have any plans to cry, to flow those liquids down to my lips. Pero, hindi ko napigilan, kinanta pa niya yung forevermore. Sinong di maiiyak? Pero, na-end ko accidentally yung call. Sayang. Magkatext pa din. I said, ako na lang tatawag. Lahat na ng bilin, sinabi nya sakin. He even cried, I felt it.
5:30 yun, sabi ko sa kanya. I want to sleep first. Inaantok ako, and I told him I love him inspite of the long distance we have now. I woke up again at around 6:45 am. I texted him if I can call him na and he said yes. So, yun, as I dialed his number, silence lang. Walang nagsasalita. So I stop na. I texted him, he said why I don't bother to react in everything he says. Sabi ko, wala akong naririnig. Then, time pass by, 7:45 na, time to say goodbye. His text message goes like this. " Ney, bye na. Last text na to. Mahal na mahal kita." Tears flow. Alam mo yung nakakaiyak? Yung kahit sa huling pagkakataon, ikaw pa din yung iniisip niya. :( He even texted my friends to take care of me. Grabe. Sweet. :)
Tapos, i sent a group message to those people I know, and he knows. And that message shakes the world. Ang daming nagreply, some says, ayos ka lang ba?Hoy, babae, kaya mo yan. Wag ka na umiyak friend.Babalikan ka din ni idol. Pagbalik nun, macho na.
Tapos, mei mga gm pa na kasama pangalan nya. Aw. Para kong sinasaktan. Tapos, everyone keep on asking you, ayos ka lang ba? Anu bang dapat kong sabihin. If I should say, Yes, I'm okay, napakaplastik ko naman sa sarili ko. And If I say No, mei magtatanong pa kung bakit. Ayoko ng magexplain, di nila maiintindihan yung nararamdaman ko.
Unang araw kasi to, kaya puro iyak lang nagawa ko. Masasanay din ako. Anjan naman yung mga kaibigan nya para suportahan kami. Anjan mga kaibigan ko to cheer me up. Makakalagpas din tayo. Makakaya natin to. I love you so much ney. I miss you na agad. Come home na after that four long years ha. I'm waiting. :)
It was just another cheesy story. Hahaha. At 2 in the afternoon (May 13 2009), Mhyla , Yssa and I decided to see each other so that we can sent a letter to them, the Team Marcelo, the MAAP boys. :)
It costs us Php 75.00 to sent a letter to Norvie and Kim. Hahaha. Nagjoke pa kami ni Mhyla,
pagdating nila sisingilin natin sila.
Together with the letter was those three mailing stamps so they can write us back. Haha. Very supportive ang cheerers nila dito sa Bulacan. After that, Mhyla went home, I think while Yssa and I decided to go at BulSU, for a not-so-special-thing. Then we went to Malolos Bayan, we have a hard time finding a cheap converse high cut. Lahat mahal. Hahaha. We gave up, so we ate at Jollibee and we saw Rodolfo there, at the cashier, yung Newton na boyfriend ni Estephanie. Ay. nakita din namin si Rossel and she said to me,
Epi. Ampayat mo. Nagdodroga kba?
Hahaha. Mei epekto naman pala yung pagpapayat ko. Oyeah. :) Ocge. Dito na lang. Masyadong enjoy to. Hahahaha.
Woah. Last night, CJ (Chad's boyfriend; currently studying at MAAP) texted me this: Epi? ui. CJ Lim to. received at 8:46 p.m. But I read it at around 10 na. That time, I don't have any load to response from his urgent text message. So, i immediately used the service of the autoloadmax. I replied to him, Ui. CJ. Bakit? But he isn't responding, so I texted Chad to ask her, what the hell happened. She replied to me, mei sulat si Kim. Itetext nya sayo yung nakalagay. Antay ka nlang mmya o kaya bukas. So, I said my gratitude to both of them, for the care and time they've given us. So I slept with my mobile phone. As I woke up, it was around 4 in the morning, there was no text from CJ. So I sleep again. At around 8 in the morning, waah. I have a missed call from CJ. So I hurriedly checked my inbox, two messages from him. Yung sulat na ginawa ni Kim, tinext nya sakin yung laman.
My man is too sweet. Ginawa nya yun para lang batiin ako for our second monthsary. It was so true, that I'm taken by the best. Thank you for giving me this attention. I have a total trust in the idea that we will be together, when both of us is on our best shot. And just because I have no idea what he might be doing, doesn't mean he doesn't care. Who knows? Maybe, he's here with me na. :)
This is all that matters. He's there. I'm here. It doesn't matter how long, as long as he's heart and his love is with me.
Uh-oh. May1 . We've been apart for almost 2 weeks and I'm used to it. No text messages, no IMs, no sweet compliments and of course, I miss those simple fights with him.
Waa. It's been 4 days since the last post I have here. I miss typing out my emotions here. I'm still reading The Time Traveler's Wife and I'm enjoying every bit of it. As though, you feel the emotions in the story and you're on the scene itself. I dreamt of him, of Kim. I was with my classmates; I enjoy chatting with them, tell stories with them and making myself busy through them. But as I was watching my own dream, I realized Kim is not on the scene, on my ever-happy moment. Why? Is he leaving? Is he giving me up? Those realizations came up when I woke up. Dreams do come true, and I'm wishing this one will not. Sigh. Fighting.
I used to wonder what life would be like if I haven’t felt those crazy-head-over-heels with you. I will probably be glad for you, as my friend, as a classmate and of course as my “insan”. Glad because, you’re there, fulfilling all those dreams of yours. And if I do, there will be no heartaches due to a long distance relationship, a lost love, or an I miss you thing. No heartaches and no frustrations, no pressures and no sacrifices.No heartbreaks and no complain. How about that? There’ll be no worries for a so called love. There’ll be no pressure from the people who love and respect you from top to the bottom of your talents. No frustration over a lost friendship. No regrets over an opportunity for the two of us.
But I realized, if those things don’t happened, I will be empty more than anything else. I may be not happy as much as I felt and thinking for those what ifs is the hardest thing to take over. Yes, I’m certainly proud and I’m shouting to this universe, that you, Kim E. Estrella, is my better half. We’re the best for each other. My head is so much big for the past conflicts that we had been resolved. And lastly, I feel so stronger for surviving every day feeling your love even if you’re not around.
I don’t need anyone else to complete me, because it’s you that I’ve been waiting to come. Welcome and enjoy your lifetime stay in my heart. I love you ney.
As I keep myself busy, time goes faster. Good. I’m waiting for him, knowing where he is. It’s so hard to be the one who stays, wondering if he’s okay. The tears that flow down were too thick for me to imagine his features again, and that was rude. I only had until nightfall for sure, with the limit that ended the dream-like story, like a fairytale. I stared at our picture, wishing that this two enchanting characters would be in each other’s arms more than anyone. Wishing that what they have now would last forever, or, if it couldn’t, the other one may stop existing. I know he wants to pursue his dreams, no matter what sacrifice it’ll cost me.
There will be no more reasons more than anything. I want to be where he is now, but I can’t follow. I should pursue my dreams also, my economist life.
You want to know something? I miss you and I’m certainly scared. Yes. So scared. I’m afraid to make this we-don’t-know-the-start relationship to fall. I’m a little used to about being lonely but the fact that I wonder the whole day how was you, hurts and made me the paranoid one. Did he ever bother to think of me even just for a second?
I would never want anything but you, no matter how long I lived.
I know and I’ve realized, that when you love someone, you will give everything without even thinking twice. Every now and then, my heart is in to hope that someday, he’ll be around, that someday we will be a typical couple loving each other. I know I’ve made a foolish game with you, but I know, you don’t deserve something like that. Leaving him is one of those things that doesn’t enter my mind. Because I know, I’m waiting for him, my everything.
I was scared of losing him, of losing myself again. I couldn't make myself leave. I can wait for him, even if it takes a lot of courage to do. Even if it takes a lot of bravery to face everyday without him. I’m scared of losing him. I’m scared but I’m hoping that one day, I’ll be on the page of our happily ever after story. I miss you ney. Hoping to see you soon. I’m doing great in here. :(
You are safe here in my arms Never fear i’ll be beside you Feel my love, touching your soul Holding you closer as i whisper to you
I will never leave you hold on tight Promise to stay forever by your side I will never leave you promise i Stay forever i will never leave you behind
Stay with me and you will see I will be the one who been dreaming I won’t hurt the heart that you’ve given And never be wounded in my arms i promise
I will never leave you hold on tight Promise to stay forever by your side And i will always love you promise i Stay forever i will never leave you behind
And every moment, every minute, every hour of my life I intend to live my whole life with you I will be your home and live the same forever in my arms And will make it through
I will never leave you hold on tight Promise to stay forever by your side I will never leave you promise i Stay forever i will never leave you behind
I’ll be with you… whenever, whenever, whenever.. Promise i stay forever I will never leave you behind You are safe here in my arms ‘coz i will never leave you Leave you behind
April 13. Tsk. Ngayon ako naniniwala, joke ang araw na to. :(
Nagising ako ng around 2:30 am, alam ko gising na sya nun kasi 3am dapat nasa Tabang na sya to meet other dreamers. Haha. :) Pero I still doubt to text him, ewan ba. Pero nung exact 3am na, tinext ko na sya. I said, all those bilins I have for him. Take care of himself, eat the right foods, don't skip meals, and love me of course. So, we texted each other even if it's too early for me. Walang alarm clock na nanggising sakin that time, pagmamahal ang gumising sa natutulog na bata. He called me, and he kept on saying, mahal na mahal kita ney, magiingat ka ha, alagaan mo yung sarili mo. I don't have any plans to cry, to flow those liquids down to my lips. Pero, hindi ko napigilan, kinanta pa niya yung forevermore. Sinong di maiiyak? Pero, na-end ko accidentally yung call. Sayang. Magkatext pa din. I said, ako na lang tatawag. Lahat na ng bilin, sinabi nya sakin. He even cried, I felt it.
5:30 yun, sabi ko sa kanya. I want to sleep first. Inaantok ako, and I told him I love him inspite of the long distance we have now. I woke up again at around 6:45 am. I texted him if I can call him na and he said yes. So, yun, as I dialed his number, silence lang. Walang nagsasalita. So I stop na. I texted him, he said why I don't bother to react in everything he says. Sabi ko, wala akong naririnig. Then, time pass by, 7:45 na, time to say goodbye. His text message goes like this. " Ney, bye na. Last text na to. Mahal na mahal kita." Tears flow. Alam mo yung nakakaiyak? Yung kahit sa huling pagkakataon, ikaw pa din yung iniisip niya. :( He even texted my friends to take care of me. Grabe. Sweet. :)
Tapos, i sent a group message to those people I know, and he knows. And that message shakes the world. Ang daming nagreply, some says, ayos ka lang ba?Hoy, babae, kaya mo yan. Wag ka na umiyak friend.Babalikan ka din ni idol. Pagbalik nun, macho na.
Tapos, mei mga gm pa na kasama pangalan nya. Aw. Para kong sinasaktan. Tapos, everyone keep on asking you, ayos ka lang ba? Anu bang dapat kong sabihin. If I should say, Yes, I'm okay, napakaplastik ko naman sa sarili ko. And If I say No, mei magtatanong pa kung bakit. Ayoko ng magexplain, di nila maiintindihan yung nararamdaman ko.
Unang araw kasi to, kaya puro iyak lang nagawa ko. Masasanay din ako. Anjan naman yung mga kaibigan nya para suportahan kami. Anjan mga kaibigan ko to cheer me up. Makakalagpas din tayo. Makakaya natin to. I love you so much ney. I miss you na agad. Come home na after that four long years ha. I'm waiting. :)
Hi. Thanks for dropping by. BTW, everything here is under my spell. So don’t try to copy then paste something. Leave everything in here. Okay?
FYI. All things published here was one of those pieces happened in my enjoy-every-moment of my life. I'm a blogger since you'd find your way here. :) I'm not good in grammar so don't expect a perfect and straight one here. If you're unhappy, then you're free to leave.
» Young Lady. «
APRIL JOYCE ARANETA CANDOR
15 years young. Freshie at University of the Philippines Diliman Extension Program in Pampanga and currently taking up BA Business Economics. Unique and of course, one of a kind. Violet. Pictures. Photo editing. Food. is surely love.
Music lighten down our spirit and force us to reminisce something or even someone. All it takes is just one song to remember one simple and meaningful event in one's life.
